Okay Gents, I know dating can be scary and let us be honest, women are ticking time bombs just waiting to go off. One wrong word and the date is over just like that. So let’s break it down and hope you make it out of this date alive and maybe, find that special someone.
Location, location, location: You’ve heard it once, you will hear it again. She will judge you, by where you take her. It’s nothing personal, but if we are not important enough to you to do more than Netflix at your place, then we will start looking elsewhere. It is just our nature for us to want to have our importance validated. Now if you have asked someone out on a date, then I would hope you know at least a little bit about them. Like’s, dislikes and so on. If you don’t, then that is now your number one priority. Of course, you could always do the standard flowers, dinner and a movie. And that Is a good way to go because most girls like that. But a lot of women are looking for something original.
A date that sticks out in my memory, is we went and played tennis. I know, it sounds weird, but at the time we were both really into running and fitness, so he bought me lunch, and we played tennis and got to know each other. We weren’t a good fit, but I left the date feeling like he had actually considered me when he chose the date venue. The location should be chosen in consideration to her at all times and never be afraid to ask one of her friends for advice. Keep it casual. No one wants to sit through a multi-course dinner with someone they don’t even know. Drinks are fine, just make sure the place is nice.
Planning: If you don’t make a plan, she will know. “I will just wing it.” Is NOT something you say about something you genuinely care about. As women, we imagine every detail and plan out things we should say in different situations. So plan, and try to be as surprising as possible. That is the best way to really get to know her is to be so surprising that she can’t lean on all of those scenarios in her head, and she then she has no choice but to expose herself and if you do it right, have fun doing it.
Presentation: By presentation I mean you. We will pay attention to everything. So what you’re wearing, even down to how you smell is important. If you look like you just got out of bed, or smell like you have been working all day, that makes a mark. Men tend not to understand how much work we put into our looks. We go through all the clothes in our closet, we wash, we put ourselves through painful beauty treatments and spend hours on our make up, so whatever you do, do not let all that work do to waste.
Manners: How you treat Everyone is important because she will be watching all of it. From how you treat a server, to how you treat children and most importantly how you treat her. When women go on dates we do everything we know how to do. We cross our ankles, we laugh quietly, we take dainty bites, all to impress you. In our heads, we are planning the next twenty years out based on everything you do, so if you mistreat someone, anyone, then we wonder how you would treat everyone. We wonder how you will treat us. So open the door for her, lend her your arm, say please and thank you to the server. Don’t go overboard, but make a point to be a gentleman.
Confidence: You have to be sure of who you are. Someone who stutters through a sentence, or doesn’t stand up straight can be an extreme turn off. We want to Know who we’re with, and we want to know that you know it too. We want to know exactly what you want out of life, and we want to know what you want out of a woman. So stand up straight, put those shoulders back and be as you are.
Interest: One of the biggest mistakes you can make when out on a date, is either talking too much, or too little about yourself or her. The conversation has to be two sided. Ask about her, but also tell her about yourself. If you ask question after question, you can put off a real stalker vibe and give us a bad feeling that we won’t be able to shake. But on the other hand, if you keep talking about yourself, you will seem self-centered and snobbish. Either of those things can be detrimental in a blossoming relationship.
Communication: It can be really hard to find good date topics. Ones that cover a wide range of topics. Listen as much as you talk, Some of the thing she says can give you more ideas of things to talk about. You may have heard the saying, “do not cut the onion, peel it away a layer at a time.” The same goes for conversation. It’s human nature to put up walls around new people, you have to peel them away gently, or you’ll damage the conversation. Do not dump, if you barrage her with your past mistakes and woes, you will overload her. Genuine interest can go a long way, lean forward, make eye contact, make sure she knows that you want to know the real her.
Some questions you can ask could be:
Who is someone really important in your life?
2. What kinds of things make you happy?
3. What is your favorite place?
4. Who is the best friend you have? What’s a good memory with them?
5. Favorite pass time?
6. What’s your greatest accomplishment?
7. How do you like to spend your weekends?
8. Do you have any major things that annoy you?
9. What was it like growing up?
10. What are some of your favorite childhood memories?
11. What is something you think I should know about you?
12. Do you like to read, paint, sing?
13. Who was your favorite teacher in school?
14. Where do you work? Is that where you want to be?
15. What do you dislike most about dating?
Keep your attention on her.
If you let your attention wander to passing women, she WILL notice. That will make her have doubts that you’re actually interested in her. Put your phone down. Be engaged with her the entire time. If your texting, or checking your Facebook the entire time. Study even the smallest of details. What she is wearing, how she smells. Be complementary, but don’t go overboard. And never do the complements all at once like you are trying to get them out of the way.
Keep it casual.
No one wants to sit through a multi-course dinner with someone they don’t even know. Drinks are fine, just make sure the place is nice, and offer to pay! Some women won’t let you, but most will. No matter what, they will think it’s sweet.
Call her after.
Whether or not you want to go on a second date it’s always a good idea to call afterwards and not let her wander if she did anything wrong. Whether it is, “You’re great, but I don’t think we are a good match.” or, “I had a great time, how do you feel about a second date?” Call the next day, or the day after. I would suggest not going more than two days after the date without calling.
Do not be desperate.
Although it is good to call, if you call repeatedly, or act like you Have to make it to a second date, it will be down hill move. We want to be adored sure, but there has to be something about you to adore. And if you are being desperate, then it’s not so adorable.
Women are emotional, we can go from one emotion to another within a minute and we can not help it. So if we all of the sudden seem down, then be thoughtful about it. Don’t be a jerk because it does not make sense to you, because a lot of the time we don’t even know. If you want to date a woman, then always be considerate no matter what.
Never be clingy.
It is OK for her to not be on your arm the whole time. I mean it IS a date, so you don’t want her to say, find a friend and spend the whole evening with that friend. But you have to be your own person, and you have to let her be her own person.
For goodness sake don’t try to be the calm silent type. Smile! Show that you’re happy to be with her! There is nothing more attractive than a smile. Especially smile at her, like just looking at her makes you happy, and it should!
Never place her on a pedestal.
We are only human, although we are pretty great. But if you place a woman on a pedestal, she will feel like you have expectations she can never reach! Not to mention, when you find her flaws you will feel let down. When you find those flaws, you should be able to see that, that’s a huge part of what makes her the beautiful person she is. The Japanese have a custom called Kintsugi where they fix pottery with gold, to exentuate how beautiful the flaws are. A woman is like that broken pot. We have cracks, but that’s what makes us who we are.
Do not always give in.
I know, somethimes she makes that adorable pouty face, and it seems so impossible to say no. But she has to know that you are not there to fulfill her every whim, you are there to be a potential partner in life. And that takes both of your happiness, not just one. And as I have said before, we appriciate a man who knows what he wants.
I know, this seems very demanding, and scary. But don’t worry, this is only the first few dates. If it works out, she will grow more comfortable. But always follow this, the golden rule of the date. Let her fart first! Stop grinning, and think about it. If you do something odd first, you can make her uncomfortable, and shut her down. But talking about uncomfortable topics is how a girl signifies that she is comfortable with you. And that is one of the biggest complements we can give.
Women are confusing creatures. I know because I am one, and I don’t even understand them most the time. Every woman is different. A woman speaks about 20,000 words a day, That’s 13,000 more than the average man. Women tend to think more than they speak, so that’s a lot of thinking. And if you step foot into anything with one, then they are going to be thinking about you. Never be afraid to get a second opinion. From either a female friend, a sister, even your mom could have a good opinion to share. Just the fact that you are reading this goes to show that you really want this date to go well, so take the risk of embarrassment, because you might be anyway if you don’t.
Knowing all the tricks in the book will only get you so far, so no matter what, be yourself. If either of you can’t be yourself, the what is the point anyway? Only date someone you are genuinely interested in, and never lead them on. If you are only after one thing, then you are on the wrong kind of outing. I hope that these tips, straight from the boggled brain of a woman, can help you on your quest for the perfect date.